Saturday, November 4th 2000 - 2:15 hrs.

Tres Vidas Beach - Aca World Sound Festival - Main Stage - Deep Dish

*Experience*: to test, to examine (the conditions or properities of one thing) by the practice. To note, to feel itself (an organic or affective modification) the effects of any change.
I don't know yet if the only reason was the experimentation thing, or just an excuse to try E... I think both of them, but at the end the real reasons turned out to be completely different... all of them so real and so human that the excuses were so insignificant that it's pointless to mention them... simply, there was no need at all...

*Expectation*: the intensity of waiting something. contemplation of what is about to expose.
The previous hour I was at ease, fearless, no nerviousism, very open, alert... I arrived to the main stage when Deep Dish was getting ready to perform... the people were waiting... now that I think about it, even the expectation was one of the lots of things that I shared with everybody.. I found my friends and I nod... they told me " anytime, stay cool, we'll take care of you "...

*-E-Sphere*: It's the surface that has the properitie that all of its points are at the same distance (radius) of a single point (center). Space where the action or the inflow of a person or thing tends to extend to every direction.
First I felt some little heat in my chest, followed by a lightness in my arms... I turned on my blue glowsticks, same movements, but now more free... it wasn't about movements, it was about flowing... then that lightness reached my legs causing the same effects... ok, I think this is what is all about..."... don't close your eyes too long, keep them opened" I don't know in what moment it happened, but as I was turning my head around to see the crowd... it was like a big circle, drawed by the people... it wasn't like a bunch of people, I could see very clear every person, being concious of the existence of each and every one... when I looked up to the sky, everything stopped being a circle, the thousand of stars above me made a sphere... a little universe with no time... the palm trees by my side were my mates all the way up... I remembered the film 'Contact' where Dr. Ellie '"Sparks"' Harroway came into this out of this world beach...

*Emotion*: Alteration of the mood produced by ideas, memories, feelings and passions, the one that manifest itself by an organic shock more less visible.
I felt heat, an inner heat that flowed from my chest... like it was blowing up inside, increasing the space between my soul and my skin, increasing the possibilities of the stories and feelings that could happen in any moment... I didn't feel my own breathing... I wasn't tired at all... all the walls were destroyed... all those walls that kept me locked up, and not being able to express my most intimate dreams... all those walls made of fears, like some inner prision that made me feel alone (when the truth is that I've never been alone and never will) and sometimes very insecure... An amplifier of the five senses that made a single one in my organism... the music is the air inside that sphere... the speakers acousticly speaking, they simply dissapeared... the taste of the water in my mouth, the smart drinks, a very fresh flavour, and the flavour like everything that Isensed it stayed inside longer than the usual... enjoying them... the smells... all the touching... I touched my chest and my shoulders and it was like some othere person were touching me... a hug... a big wooosh!, I felt it in all over my body... the view didn't change much, well... not 'till the explosion...

*Energy*: Active potential that an organism takes to do or produce and effect.
It doesn't creat itself, neither destroy... just changes... I remember that we're made of energy... all what is inside of us it wasn't created and it will not be destroyed... it will just change wth the time and then forever... an energy exchange with everything... I realized that we're part of a very importan cycle, where we're responsible to change the energy that we receive into something special in accordance with the person we're with, or the moment we live, or the place we are... and when we're not capable of change that energy is when all the troubles come to us, and they make us stop and get us away from that cycle...

*Express*. to manifest with words or some other exterior signs what one person could think or feel.
I felt a huge need to share that moment with my friends... but I didn't need words, just with my eyes, smiling, hugs... most of my friends have tried E before, so they knew exacty what I was feeling... Some friends and some very special persons weren't there for me... but that wasn't a problem at all... they made me feel how special I am for them, and how special they are for me... The dance as form of expression, free, I didn't notice too much changes, the only thing was that I didn't felt tired when it was supposed to feel that way... A tender smile, all the time in my lips... i wanted to be serious with my face but I couldn't, the smile came back once again...

*Explosion*: an violent action that manifest suddenly certain affections of the soul. Music makes the people come together Music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel Don't think of yesterday And I don't look at the clock I like to boogie-woogie It's like riding on the wind And it never goes away Touches everything I'm in Got to have it everyday
The lights of the stage, three aligned groups of lights, my eyes took them and carry them as they were changing from white to the blue of my glowsticks and followed their movements... when i closed my eyes, the lights remain with a combination of all the colors, but this new color wasn't white, it was an inner color... The lyrics of the song "Music" of Madonna, simply a reality before me... All described above in its sublime peak, no time, no titles, no description then, no words, no prejudgments, no fears, no limits, no frontiers, no hate, no levels, no differences, no prisions... a sublime - epic state, full by humilty that found in the mix of Deep Dish of the Sven Vath's song "Barbarella" an atmospheare of peace that found a place inside in all this chaos in expansion inside of me...

*Equality*: tendence of let being guide by the feelings of duty or the consciousness, and not for the ultimate text of the law. Quality that consists in not having favoritism in treating someone and hurting another one.
I think the most meaningful moment of all, was when a humble and old lady walked in front of me, with a plastic bag in one hand, and with the other one picking up garbage... she looked at me, and I don't know if it was 'cuz my big smile, that she showed to me a little but sweet smile.. but still, it was the most honest smile of the three days at the rave and the purest vibe that I found among people... that, just that made me look up at the sky, stars, the moon, all that, made me feel the most insignificant being of this universe and despite of it, happy, for being part of it...Feeling the vision for just one night of all human being being equal, no raves, no religions, no status, no divisions... we represent the same thing, we mean the same, we're made of the same thing, no privileges, no preferences...

*Eclipse*: to dark a brighter thing, to avoid, to be abscent, to dissapear or hide a thing.
The saddest part... I had to take the half of this pill to realize all this and not being able to find it without being inside of an illusion... I had to put on risk my health, the safeness of my friends by accepting the chance that the pill couldn't being pure... the sad thing was to understand why so many people take this pill without precaution, without responsability, and without knowing that their organism ask for a bigger dosis every time to get the same effect and some times without knowing the fact of causing long term damage to their brains. It's a very fast and easy way to get to a place where we all are coming from... it's a very tricky way of being in a state of "happiness", but before that, you have to eclipse some issues...

*Esperanza* (Hope): Trust of achiveing something, to see a dream become a reality.
At the end, when the rush was coming down very slowly, I found myself in the middle of the whole festival, I started to take a 360� look, and that was the last feeling... hope... someday everything is gonna be this way, like i lived it... it's not gonna be an illusion, it's gonna be something real... Am I ready for that day? needless to say, i'm not... but for that reasone i'm here in this cruel world, some world that is against this whole experience, it's nobody's fault, it's the way it is, simply 'cuz i'd be able to see the big difference at the end...