I used to do extacy all the time. I thought it was great. Then one day my friends and i invited my sister ans my sisters friend to come over to do some E. (She had told mer she was gonna do it anyway and i wanted here to have me around for support.) I did 3 she and her friend did one then snuck anouther one and a half. Then we smoked about 3 grams of pot between the 5 people that were there. in about 2 hours. I remember sitting on this bed with my 2 friends (my sister and her friend were elswhere in the house) and I started geting this spinning sensation in my head, not physical so much as time wise. like time was jumping around. I started not being able to tell if i had been talking about things for 5 min or 5 hours. I would suddenly forget what i was talking about half way through the sentance. At one point i got up to got to the bathroom. I left the room, went to the bathroom, peed, came back closed the door behind me, then suddenly realised i still had to go. I told my friends this and the laughed and told me to go then. When i said I just did they laughed and said that i had walked to the door, froze and then turned around and said i still had to go. This not being able to tell the difference between what was real and what was not got worse as the night progressed. I would have entire conversations will people in my head and then realise i had not moved. It got to the point where i was haveing variose sinarios happening that seemed real, my friends turning against me plotting to hurt me, my guy friend wanting to rape me, then it would switch to us all having a fun time. around and around like that all night. Doesn't sound so bad untill you understand that I could not tell the diference between what was happening what was my imagination and what i was remembering happend or imagined. It all seemed real to me. The worse of it is i for got about my sister and her friend i did not even know they were there sometimes. how could i remember if i couldn't even tell what room of the trailor i was actually sitting in for real. When the shouting started and the crying i thought something had happened to me that i didn't know about. I found out later that my sisters friend (who had done only small amounts of pot up to then) had been expiriancing the same sort of confusionin the head and para noia that i had been going through and she actually honestly belived to the point of histaricly crying out for her mom that she had been raped. She knew without a doubt this had been done to her. Now we know different ly but still a very scary expiriance, the worst of my life. I will never do e again. Since then my memory has been way different it is hard for me to remember to do things and i have a hard time consentrating on complex ideas espechally mathmatical ones. I also pieriodicly suffer sevear anxiety attacks and dizzyness. My expiriance occured in nov of 2001 and it is now september 2002. |